COTY

The other day I discovered from a TV ad that the Ford Territory had won the 2004 Wheels Car Of The Year award. The Wheels COTY is a highly coveted prize in the car industry. As one of the longest running car awards in the country, it has a prestige about it that any winner would want to brag about. However, I just don’t get their judgment this year. I’m reminded of Bob Parr’s comment in the Incredibles as he reacts to news of an awards ceremony marking his son’s graduation from the 4th to 5th grade: “They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity.” I share similar sentiments in Wheels decision to award the Territory COTY.

Ok, I’m probably not in the position to criticise the Territory considering I haven’t actually driven one or even seen one close up; my judgment is based on what I’ve read about it in the motoring press. Actually, I did get the opportunity to see one at the 2003 Sydney motor show, but ran out of time as it was low on my cars to worship over list. Perhaps labeling it “Mediocre” is being a bit unfair. I’m not saying it absolutely sucks, but more as being mediocre in relation to the other award contenders. For instance, last year around the time of its launch, Drive pitted the Territory up against it’s contemporaries in an outback showdown, but it proved to be a handicap when the going got tough. The Territory is a vehicle Ford hopes to give them a share of the increasingly popular soft-roader–look at me I sit high so I can lord it over other plebeian motorists–market. Built on top of the Falcon platform, it’s basically a raised version of Ford’s staple sedan, but with extra macho ruggedness and cup holders.

Available in 2WD and 4WD variants, Ford went to air with a TV campaign depicting the Territory scaling sand dunes, the kind of topography you’d only attempt with 4WD capabilities, at a value for money price. However, little did the viewer know, the advertised price applied to the bichumen only 2WD model, a fact which was somewhat obscured by the less flamboyant fine print.

So what other cars would have been more deserving of the award? How about the Territory’s direct competitor - the Toyota Kluger. Sure it might have bland looks and a horrible name (Kluger? Sounds like a drain blockage), but it does have other virtues going for it, like its legendary Toyota 4WD pedigree and a mechanical drive train, as oppose to the less reliable (in rough conditions at least) electronic drive system featured on the Territory. The Kluger has the renowned Japanese build quality and dependability you’d want from an off-roader, qualities which went on to help it trump the Territory in that Drive outback test.
Or how about a car that espouses a totally different philosophy, one that has taken out almost every other car award on offer, Mother Nature’s new best friend - the Toyota Prius. With ultra clean hybrid engine technology, the Prius will do more for the endangered blue polka dot Amazonian tree frog than the Territory ever will.

For a locally developed car, and Ford Australia’s first attempt at building such a vehicle, you got to be proud of them for trying. In fact, these jabs at the Territory are merely to serve as a lead in to the annals of Ford motor co. which reveal even more mediocre models.

Typhoon (2004 - Present)

The tricked out version of the XR6 turbo was to be the epitome of Ford Performance Vehicles, but with multiple examples suffering from clutch failure, it has been unable to fully realise its sporty ambitions.

Ford Explorer / Firestone tire debacle (2000)

The long running relationship between Ford and Firestone (dating back to the Henry ford era) came to a bitter end when each company tried passing off blame to each other after some 200 personal injury claims were brought forward on behalf of people hurt or killed when Explorers rolled over after tire-tread failures. In many of the cases, the violent swerving motion that induced the roll over action was to avoid wayward moose that had wander into the driver’s path.

Ford AU Falcon (1998 - 2002)

The all new AU Falcon, the first in a decade, was avoided en masse during its release due to sheer ugliness. When asked to comment on the new Falcon during it’s unveiling, an anonymous bystander was quoted to have said: “it looks like whale dung, and the bottom of the ocean is were it belongs”. Totally out styled by the VS Commodore the AU Falcon lost out badly in sales to its rival. A $500 million makeover was later needed in order to save face.

Ford Pinto (1971 - 1980)

A compact car created in response to the oil crisis, it ignited much controversy at the time. A slight engineering deficiency made the fuel tank susceptible to explosions in the event of rear end prangs. Numerous people died in pinto fires, but as a precursor to greedy 80’s corporate mentality ford decided against that minimal expense required for a redesign instead finding it more economical to pay off potential lawsuits for resulting deaths.
The pinto may also be responsible for the highly combustible nature of cars in Hollywood action movies.

And there u have it, for all the good Ford has ever done: Model T, Mustang, GT40; there has been the equally not so good - the mediocre.